Self Care commentary seems to be everywhere you look these days. Meditate, be mindful, live in the present moment, breathe! Do more yoga, be in nature more, stop and smell the roses! I have affirmation cards all over my house and my business to remind me to self care, yet there are days when I find myself scrolling through some social media post, and an hour of my life goes by in what seemed like an innocent “quick look.”
Scrolling through my phone does not give me energy, it is a drainer. Draining energy is not self care. But this is just me. Self caring for you is what you need it to be. I am no expert, but I have read a lot about the topic in my lifetime and do feel like I can offer some easy ways to consider the idea that self care doesn’t have to be complicated.
I use a numerical gauge in deciding what serves me and what does not. What elevates my energy field and what depletes it. I have used this method that I created over fifteen years ago and find it helpful as I move through my days.
I call it the 3-2-1 method.
Basically, I rate the vibe I get from people, places, and things.
My Self Care Rating System
3= Energized. I feel completely energized. Energy lifter. Happy after the interaction. Stimulated, motivated, joyful. This can come from simply bending down and smelling the honeysuckle in my garden. It can come from having a great conversation with a friend. Or looking at a beautiful sunset. Or when my house is clean and I just picked a bunch of fresh flowers and placed them on the table. These examples are all 3’s. We want as many 3’s in our days and in our lives as we can get. Our directive is 3’s.What are some of your 3’s? Think about them because you will need them on the days that you find yourself feeling low.
2=Neutral. I don’t feel energized but I also don’t feel depleted. I walk away from whatever I have been interacting with feeling neutral. There isn’t really a feeling one way or the other.
2’s are useful and helpful throughout our days because they help regulate our vibe. We are smart enough to know that we can’t always be in a 3 state or around 3 experiences or people. So we need 2’s, too.
1= Depleted. Drained. Energy sucker. I feel mad, sad, down, low, lacking. This can come from so many areas. The weather, someone says something unkind, too much technology, not enough nature, self criticism, feeling pulled in too many directions, saying yes to things things you wished you had said no to. Drinking too much and waking up feeling shitty. Arguments with your partner, children, family or friends. Gossip. Being around people that are negative. Yelling at someone who cuts you off in traffic or being yelled at. The list can be endless, but 1’s are far less desirable, but part of our lives. Sometimes we have no control over the 1 experiences or people, but what we do have control over is the feeling that comes from the experience. So what are some of your 1’s and how can you eliminate or reduce them in your life? How can you exchange them or replace them with more 3’s? If you find yourself at a level 1, this is when your 3’s come in handy. Because if you have had a 1 experience, then a 3 will bring you to a 2. 3-1=2. So you need high level 3’s so you don’t run yourself ragged in a 1 world.
This is Self Care
Self care is simply considering what gives you joy and what doesn’t and spending your moments and minutes trying to sort out the times in your day when you feel the lift so you can make a quick course correction when you are inevitably in a 1 situation.
Here are some products to add to your toolbox for when you need some "3" energy:
- Affirmation Stickers
- Customized Box of Self Care
- Aromatic Facial Steam
- Root Chakra Bath Bomb
- Calming Body Lotion
Remember one thing though, that you are the only one who has any power over your moments. If you find yourself needing your 3 experiences to come from outside validation, then it is going to be more difficult to stay the course. Work on your insides so that you and you alone can make your day what you want it to be.