WHAT ARE YOUR SACRED MOMENTS?

After reading a great opinion piece in the May 14th  NYT called, Hold On to Your Hats, America by It Gail Collins and Bret Stephens about commencement speeches, some of their common sense points were worth a share.

In this wacky world we seem to be residing in these days, common sense is something I crave.

Here are some of my favorite ones, not all, from that piece from Brett Stevens: 

• I’d urge them to do everything they can to cultivate an inner life, especially since social media is always trying to suck it out of them.
• Commit great poems to heart. Recite them on solitary walks.
• Don’t post self indulgent glam shots of yourself on Instagram.
• Read more for pleasure, less for purpose.
• Think of TIK TOK  as your generations cocaine and get off of it.
• Work hard on keeping a few great friendships, not gaining thousands of followers.
• Make only enough money so that you don’t have to think about it much.
• Preserve an independence of mind and spirit and nurture a contrarian opinion or two especially if it goes against your own political side.
• Never join a cause if you aren’t fully familiar with the argument against it.
• Don’t equate success with fame or fame with happiness.
• Find your core satisfaction in a soul mate, not a career.
• Laugh more, mostly at yourself.

Go Brett Stephens.

Then as luck would have it,  One of my most treasured friends, Marcia, someone I have known since I was 23, stopped by for a random visit.

I shared Brett’s piece with her. She shared a poem by Ralph Waldo Emerson that I hadn’t heard for awhile. After she read it, we both agreed this poem would be a most lovely one to memorize.

Write it on your heart
that every day be the best day in the year.
He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day
who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.

Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit
to be encumbered by your old nonsense.

This new day is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on the yesterdays.

In our hustle and bustle of life, do we forget to notice the little sacred moments that show up at the perfect time like these simple reminders in poems and tips for living a better life? Random conversations about poetry and discussions about our thinking in the middle of a busy day with a friend who just happened to stop by,

I remind myself that caring for oneself are paying attention, learning to become conscious of these moments. Self-care is something we must do throughout our busy days.

Just reading this poem made me feel calm. Could I memorize a poem like I used to do for school when I was a child? I will. I will because of how it makes me feel when I do.

How do I determine if something in my life is worthy of naming it a Sacred Moment?

How do I feel when I am doing it, after I have done it or as I anticipate the moment? Does it bring me feelings of calm or joy, happiness or peace? If the answer is a resounding yes, then these are the parts of my life I categorize as sacred. This is the gauge I abide by these days.

Sacred moments in my day have become mostly unshakeable, they guide me in my saying yes or saying no. I ask myself the question, Will it interrupt my joy?

In my history, I have said yes to many events, but as the day and time approached I found myself not looking forward to what I was so enthusiastic about only a few weeks or months earlier when I made the commitment. These days, I find myself holding back on those YES commitments. Not with rigidity, but with a sense of open awareness that serves my sense of joy.

How did I get to thinking about moments as SACRED?

Once my son moved out to live his own life, I found myself in major adjustment mode. It took me about two years to reprogram myself away from having to parent and mother anymore. I am not kidding, I went through a major reconfiguration of my life, that included some depression, some questions of what's next? How did time go by so fast?

I am divorced too, no pets, just a small business and a wide open space of a life ahead of me. It was time to revisit what I needed and more importantly wanted out of the next post menopausal, no more child in the house ever again, side of life.

As a result of all of this seeking and questioning, I sort of fell into this routine of mine. It is the routine that has become the foundation to my life.

I have created a life for myself that begins at 5:00 in the morning and promptly ends at 3:00 in the afternoon. This means if I am to schedule anything after 3, I must put it through the sifter, How will I feel as the time approaches? Why?

Because now that I have a partner whom I adore, who is also 18 years my senior, every moment feels sacred with him. Every night is date night now.

Here are some of my immovable Sacred Moments:

I finish my day "work" day at 3. This doesn't mean I don't answer emails or do work from the couch, but 3:00 is when I mentally begin to wind down. I usually stop at the store and figure out dinner then head to the kitchen to begin prepping it for dinner that evening.

I love making dinner from 3-5. It relaxes me and engages my creativity in a much more methodical way.

At 4:30 or 5 when I am done prepping, I make myself a drink, these days it has become a mocktail. Here is a link to the recipe.

I get myself sitting in the garden, or on the porch or inside on the couch by the fire and read. Usually a cookbook, (I collect vintage cookbooks) or catch up on the pile of magazines, or just sit and stare at the bird feeders and watch some nature. My partner, Michael, usually comes home around 6:00. Like Samantha did for Darrin on Bewtiched, I get up and make him a cocktail while he gets changed. Then we catch up on our day, catch up on the shenanigans of the days' news for a micro moment and have dinner.

What are the immovable sacred elements in your life? Have you ever thought about them in this way?